Goodbye to You 2008, Welcome 2009!

Year 2008 is coming to an end. Time for a reflection for this eventful year.

No doubt it has been an eventful year for me. In Chinese, 2008 is supposed to be an auspicious number, thus an auspicious year perhaps. Maybe. Maybe not. For the starter, this year marked my grand entrance to the earning years. So far 6 months into working, starting to know more about working world, human relationship, team work and no less, the despair, frustration, lethargy and anger. It's so complicated. Spending money is so much fun, but the hardship of earning money makes me think twice before going on another shopping spree.

It also marks the end of my academic year. Or does it. They say in medical field, learning is an on-going process, so they say. After leaving school, I hardly pick up any academic book to read. I should continuously learning, to better myself. The only problem is I haven't decide on the specialty I want to further myself. I haven't decide what I want, but I will give everything a try first.

Then came my relationship. I did not expect it, nor do I work towards it, but it just came head on. They called it my 'yuan' or love luck has arrived. I have to agree. Love at the first sight, so be it. As long as both of us found what we found, appreciate each other, and care for the counterpart more than self, it should keep the steam of love brimming.

In 2009, I wish that I could achieve five things:

1. Loose weight, make myself looks better and feels even better. This has been my resolution since 6 years old, but I will always work harder to achieve it.
2. Buy a Digital SLR (is this a wish list or a new year resolution?)
   
3. Saving cash, then invest some (the actual amount shall not be disclosed for obvious reason)
   
4. Participate in social service, to give a helping hand to the public. I always like the field of palliative care, which I think I could use my knowledge.
5. Reunite with old mates, throw a good reunion party which everyone can remember upon.

At the end of 2009, I will reflect at the resolution again.

The Unforgettable Journey to Niah

If you happen to live in Malaysia, you will be blessed with many beautiful places to visit. You will definitely be amazed by the breath-taking scenery, the people and the places. I was skeptical, before this. I never imagine the place I grown up to be such a nice traveler's hotspot until now.

I went to Niah cave last week.

Remembering those days, when I was a little boy, one of the chapter in the History book described the greatness of the Niah cave. They said, it can accommodates 40 737 planes inside. You have to see it to believe it.

The Great cave of Niah (so they called it) was 10.9 hectare wide. It accommodates many other small caves. It once was the home for pre-Historic man in Borneo and their proof of living were marked on the wall of Painting Cave.

What I remembered the most from this trip to Niah was the beauty of the cave. It was rainy season. It caused the lake on the mountain to be filled with water and the water flowed through crevices, creating waterfalls inside the cave. The water snakes into the underground river. The sound and the sight of it is the experience of a life time.

I would highly recommend anyone to visit Niah Cave.

收拾心情

最近发生太多不如意的事了。

刚认识的女友，却得了病需要动手术。需要开刀的时候， 身为男友的我， 却不在她身旁，真是遗憾。 但是手术很成功，她安然无恙。心中的大石也就可以放下了。

有人说，一段感情，若没有经过风吹雨打，就经不起时间的考验，我不信！为什么不可以让一切平淡，只有快乐，没有烦恼？难道没有挫折，就不会成长？没有跌倒，就学不会爬起来吗？

工作上也到了一段瓶颈，每天重复做一样的工，面对同样让人气愤的上司下属，每天都要面对工作上的政治。唯有等待下班时跟女友约会，家人用餐，让自己松弛心情。要等待加薪，还有好远；要等待换岗，都要多两个月。

自己开始遗忘最初的理想和梦想了。这些都是属于学生年代的东西，现在面对的是事实。嗨... 难得充实的利用六天的假期，现在还是收拾心情，明天又开工啰！

Silence of the Rain

I was on called yesterday.

Kuantan had been raining cats and dogs for the past three days. There was almost no daylight. I was lying in my bunker. Next to me, a couple is embracing into sweet dream. I hate myself for intruding. So I turn my body the other way, away from them, awaiting the sleep that was hard to come.

The wind is howling outside. Storm was picking up after subsiding for the nth time. The rain hits the window pane, like a bullets in the battlefield. The door in the next room was blown by the strong wind. The sound can be eerie, but my mind is extraordinarily tranquil that time...

I was walking down the rainy road in midnight. The path connecting my room and the main building was uncovered. Storm was blowing cold wind down my neck, sending chills to the spine. The rain was hitting on my face. Questions after questions that I never asked myself before pops up.

Have I found my other part?
Is she the one?
Am I the one?
Have I done too much?
Or too little?
How she feels about me?
Can I really take this responsibility?

I can't stand the rain anymore.

The Breaking of The Self Defence

Before this, I was a strong person. My ego was high. My self esteem is unchallengeable. I am being at the top of myself. Being 25, you feel like you can do anything. You don't need anyone. You are the best of what you are. Until recently, my defenses has eroded. My ego has gone to the drain. I was stripped. I wasn't the 'me' that I looked into the mirror everyday. This has become the new 'me'. I almost don't recognize myself anymore.

I guess being in love means a lot of breaking your ego, challenging the new heights, and being in the place that you never thought you could ventured into. I had been in my comfort zone for too long. This comfort zone had provided me everything I want. I was loved. I was warm. I never need to live in fear. But I had decided to break the circle, jump out my comfort zone. I was prepared to get hurt, again. I am ready for the coldness. I am prepared to go across the hurdle in life.

I am venturing into the new height in my life.

Revelation

I am at it again. Me, being just me, like to write crap at midnight.

How to gain more out of your first date:

1. You gotta have chic music in your car.
Your ride is everything that reflects you. Even if you doesn't have a face of Brad Pitt, as long as your car has the right sort of ambiance, she will definitely give you a nod. It's gotta be soft, kind of atmosphere that brings people to talk. If music way too loud, she will think that you are a punk, and is a definite no no.

2. Never, Ever go for a movie on the first date.
For all you know, you are stuck at your seat for the next 2 hours. You can't talk to her, you can't look at her straight. You feel like your time is a total waste.

3. Strictly no Chinese food on the first date
Chinese restaurant is the most noisy place on earth, next to a paediatric ward. It wouldn't sound so romantic if you shout this out: "You are beautiful" compare to you whisper it out by her ear in a posh restaurant.


Nah, these are guides for dummies like me. You might loath it, but who am I to care?

连夜雨

雨季的来临，带来一阵阵的连夜雨，
今夜，冷风吹来，雨声绵绵，
一滴一滴的雨点， 打在窗口，
心里不知有多凉快。

不知心一直在想什么，
也不知心里要的是什么，
多年以来，执着些什么，
梦想是什么，理想又是什么！

直到她的出现，
让这一切都变了。

每天渴望她的来电，
每天想着她的背影，
每天都在盼着明天，
能够与她会面相见。

是否，
缘分已经到来，
时机已经成熟，

可是，
下一步如何走，
会有什么变数？

我不知道
我没有答案
还是让连夜雨把思念传寄与她


笔

The Depth of Death

Death has been a topic which people discussed with a hush voice. It is a word that you shouldn't use during festive season as people will scowl at you. Yet I had written a handful of blogs regarding death.

The fundamental rule: Everyone must go through death at least once. Some people had escaped death, coming back to tell tales about near dying experience. Which brings to the fundamental rule No 2: You can delay death, to the extend of prolonging death, but you can't totally avoid death. Patient with brain death can be hooked on the ventilator machine. The can breath. They have heart beat. But once without the mechanical support, he or she is very vulnerable.

I don't like death. It brings tears to people, it breaks the heart. But I faced with death, day in and out. No matter what you do, you just can't avoid death. If you face death like a journey that one must endure, then death may come with less pain.

One good friend of my parents were diagnosed with advance breast cancer about a year ago, competed surgery and chemotherapy. About 2 weeks back, she had a fall one day at home and was brought to the a private hospital. CT scan of brain were done, showing multiple metastasis to the brain. Nothing curative were able to be done at that moment. Family members were desperate, seeking for second opinion, asking for miracle to happen. Everyone seems to know the diagnosis except the patient herself. She was kept from the truth, fearing that the truth will burden her already troubled mind. They brought her to hospital, asking doctors to do further active management for her.

I believe this is not the first case. Most of us face death with fear, only few have courage to stand up. More often than not, we often omit how the patient feel with regards to her own body. If you are the patient, lying on the death bed, will you don't want to know what is wrong with you? Will you like the truth to be buried with you to the grave? Most of the time, the patient is not blind, death or dump to be not able to guess what is wrong with her own body. Yet, she has no right towards her own body when it comes to death? What if the patient wish to meet certain people, to forgive some relatives and to repay some old dept before she dies, wouldn't she feel regretted for not able to do so? If she wish to donate her organs to benefit many, we would have selfishly denies her to do so. Death is not as simple as close your eyes. There are many legal matters involved. For example, bank accounts, saving bonds and funds that needs to be transfered to some one else. These things, although small, will be a big hassle for those who live on.

Please, do not deny the patient from the truth. It hurts me every time I faced with this situation. When you come to make decision for other people, always put yourself in other people's shoe. Do you want to be treated that way? If the answer is no, please don't do it on other people. You have absolutely no rights over other people.

Making Heaven Out of Hell

Lately, I had been having conflicts with my new department. Being accused for the things that I didn't do, senior officer talking bad behind us, colleague that is very calculative and no team work spirits and many more. All these had been burdening me quite a lot lately, to the extend of almost feeling depressed.

Yesterday, I had a revelation...

I was walking down the alleyway towards the cafeteria. Suddenly a thought stuck me... I was making my own living hell. Why not make a heaven out of it?

Now, I am working in one of the wards. My senior officer in the ward is what a common people would call 'bitch'. She was the kind of people that likes to gossip. She has a couple of horrible gossips partner, that not only tell nothing but lies, but also love to wreak havoc. What makes the matter worse is she is also likes to report to the big boss regarding small matters, and exaggerates things. Her mood swing is as fast as the F1 racing machines.

Lately, I had been called to an inquiry, no less thanks to her. She had been telling lies behind the big boss. Glad the things I did was acceptable under standard medical practice, I was spared from getting a punishment.

How can I clear up this mess?

First, make truce with her, my senior officer. I said to myself, why would my mood be affected by someone that is so less important to me? She can curse, talk bad, laugh about me, but she can't control the way I feel. Follow her order, my day will be fine. Against her, she makes the hell out of me. So you tell me, which way I should go?

Being nice to people doesn't always equals to people being nice to you. There are people who takes advantage on other people. I notice of late, there are colleague that fits into the criteria above.

She came late to work. She doesn't want to clerk cases. She does not want to present to a consultant during rounds. She does not like to wake up during night call. In the end, who needs to cover her? Me. Who needs to clerk case? Me. Who needs to present cases? Me. All me, and me and just me. Naturally, I was up in smoke. How is it justified that who of us get paid but only one get to work?

And again, why should I be not happy for some other people's problem? If she doesn't like to learn, it is her problem. If she doesn't want to work, it is her problem. The more I work, the more I gain, in terms of knowledge, experience and improves on my patient relationship. At least, I know the hard-earned money I get at the end of the month are worthy.

Working is fun, only if you can make heaven out of the living hell.

The Unexpected Death

I think, almost every mother bearing a child came to my clinic would expect to bring back a child when they were discharged. No one, absolutely no one expects the others.

Today, I faced with a difficult situation.

8.27AM, an expecting mother came to my clinic because she is feeling pain at the lower abdomen and the contraction was getting stronger. After a quick examination by my fellow friend, she was already in the advance stage of labour. So we pushed her to labour room.

I was the most senior house officer at that time. My friend was a tagging house officer since she just joined the department. After a while, the medical student rushed out for my assistance. She looked scare. So without wasting any time, I rushed to the labour room.

The atmosphere was cold. Nobody speaks. Everyone looked at the newly delivered flesh laying motionless on the green sheet. His body, swollen up twice his size. His face plethoric and the skin peeled of like plastic cover, exposing the red flesh. The umbilical cord was snapped into half. It was an awful sight.

The mother looked at me, half expecting the outcome of the labour. "How was my baby, Doctor Goh?"

"Did you go and check you baby well being lately?" I asked.

"I felt the quickening lessen throughout this week, but there was contractions. People said contraction was due to the baby moving..." She said.

Then came the hardest moment in my career, breaking bad news.

"Madam, I am sorry to say that you newborn is a stillbirth. He must have died quite sometime in your uterus. I am really sorry..."

Then she cried. I did not try to console her. This was grief which she must go through, so Elizabeth Kubler Ross said.

I offered her the opportunity to see the child. She could not bear the sight of a dead child. Must have been a great loss to her, her family and her love life. And I had to break the news to the husband as well, which he accepted quite well.

I am not good with death counseling. There is still a long way to go.

My Teacher, Then My Patient, Then My Teacher Again

Nothing touched me so much compared to this.

One fine day, my brother rang me up, told me that a patient had handed a note to him mistakenly, (as we share same surname). It was a small piece or parchment, apparent scribbled in a hurry. Each and every words were misaligned. After reading the note, there was a warmness spreading from the heart. Thus my tiredness bubbles. At least I know there is love in this world.

Read on for the content of the note:


Sometimes, a word of gratitude is more valuable than expensive gifts. His gratitude lights up the healing heart of mine.

Working is fun, all along.

A Different Perspective

Staying grounded for too long for me, is not good.

Sometimes, I need to fly. Above the ground more than 30,000 feet. Then you will understand what is perspective. I like the clouds beneath my feet. The sky, bluest of the blue, melt with the horizon. The lush green of the forest, dotted with buildings, and the river snakes around to reach the open sea. The sea, seems to be permanently marked by the ripples, and the ship frozen over the blue sea.

That is the way with life. Problems seems magnified when we look at it heads on. When we stand at a different perspective, sometimes the solutions seems to be the there in front of our eyes.

I just love flying.

Reflections: Medical Posting

Four months had passed, just in a blink of eye.

I had completed my first rotation in Medicine posting. It seems like yesterday, a fresh grad, half trembling, half confused, make his steps into this biggest hospital in the biggest state of Peninsular. Countless of sleepless night, exhaustions beyond words, pressure from superiors, ragging from peers, finally, yes finally I reached the end of the steps.

I learned a lot. Stuffs that I don't learn throughout schooling years. Stuff like interpersonal relationship, teamwork, overtime, and overwork. Not that I am not expecting all this to come, but the culture shock it gave to me. If I wasn't strong enough, I would have been a total failure. I would not be considered bragging when I said I am excelling in Medical posting. Most of the supervisors gave me an approving nod. (some even going to the stage to extend me so to help them out with work) I think to summarize it all, hardworking and honesty are the values that everyone values.


Next, I am going into Obstetric and Gynaecology. Hope I still have the passion to go on. I just love this job.

A Tale of Resurection

Today miracle happen to me.

After more than 30 resuscitations, today I am able to revive a patient, after he went into asystole.

He is a 70 year-old Malay, came in with congestive heart failure, very poor ejection fraction, and came in with fluid overload. He had pitting oedema up to knee, shortness of breath and congested lungs.

Initially, he was well. After going to toilet, his son rushed to me, when I was taking blood for another patient. He had fainted in the toilet. He fell squarely behind the toilet door, obstructing the only way out. Fifteen minutes passed of struggling to moved him away from the door. When I able to get to him, he was already unresponsive. No pulse. My adrenaline gets into action.

Immediately he was pushed into the acute bed. Cardiac monitoring put on. Flat line, no pulse. Barely any effective breathing activity. CPR started. After about 3 minutes, he regain pulse, with an extremely bradycardic pulse that is. Medication to increase blood pressure started. Blood pressure maintained. He was intubated and ventilated.

It is not all lost hope when the patient went into asystole (or not heart beat). But the chances that we are dealing is pretty slim. For an average Joe with no medical complication, the chances or revival is about 15%. However, the percentage dropped to almost 0 if the patient is having multiple medical illness. On top of that, the patient after being revived, requires intubation, ventilation, Intensive Care Unit admission and nontheless complications to multiple organs. That is why we always take into consideration patient's wishes for resuscitation and family views with regards of this matter. Sometimes, it is not prolonging the life, but prolonging death.

Think about it.

Life isn't smooth sailing, as always.

I had a bad day, today.

My patient died under my hand. She came with septicaemia. Down with DIVC. Needed a central line. However got oedematous peripheral limbs because of overload. Lower limbs were inflamed. Trial of Short line through internal jugular would only stress her limits as her INR was 5. My boss said:" Proceed, I trust you."

So Short line tried, but got stucked at 5 cm. Then I got it removed at once. Bleeding was mad. Haemostasis secured only after 15 minutes of compression. 15 mins later, she went into asystole. Resuscitated for 1 hour. Unable to bring her back. Thinking back, was it my mistake? Probably. But her premorbid status was not well, either. She would need the High dependency ward back-up the very least, or intensive care unit. But none were available.

Sigh!

Working in such a tight resource, is really stretching the limits. You have datelines, you have urgent things, you have sidelines, all coming to your face at the same time.

Time to ease out a little bit. Life goes on.

Insider Vs Outsider

"Chinese are the immigrant, squatters"

I can't believe I am still hearing such a low mentality statements being made.

Despite being independent for more than half a decade, the fundamental mentality is still stopping at British colonial times. As a Malaysian Chinese, we had rooted here for such a long time that we have little or no memory that we originates from China. I am born as a 'Malaysian'.I do not have a place in China for me. My mainland is here, Malaysia.

Despite all the moves to recognize every entity as 'Malaysian', there are people who still can't get over the overwhelming feeling of their own race being the greater one. Understandable. When we are equal, lost are the special privileges, unfairness, and foul play. Having a divided race entity is important in this context.

We may be independent at the outside, but inside, there is still a long way to go.

The Doctor With Fxxxed Up Teeth

How do you feel, if a doctor walks up to you, when you are sick, lying down on the bed. She oped her mouth: "What brings you here to the hospital?" You almost fainted with the stench of an unmanaged teeth.

This reminds me of a colleague of mine. Whenever he is post-call, he never care to brush teeth. He will carry on with the next day job. While this may be good as responsibility towards his job is high, it doesn't help in term of his personal image as a doctor. When he speaks, I stood 3 feet away.

Halitosis, or commonly known as bad breath, is a under-addressed issue. It doesn't affect only doctors, but people from all walks of life that doesn't find it necessary to brush their teeth. It is as bad as having a body odour.

Being in this field, talking sometimes play a therapeutic role. Having a bad breath does not help the situation at all. Not to mention the yellowish stained teeth and what it can do to the doctor's image. So a reminder to myself and my friends: Take good care of your oral hygiene.

Hospital Is My Second Home Programme

Most of us would try as hard as possible not to step into the hospital, to have nothing related to it. Hospital is synonym to sick, death, dirty, and all sorts of infections. Admission to hospital is suffering.

Yet, some will find all ways to get admitted to the hospital. I have seen quite some diagnosis such as " Poor oral intake and patient requested admission". Those 'patient requested admission population' are generally from the low socioeconomy status group, prisoners, intravenous drug users, and those with very poor family support group.

The first one, Ah Tat is his name. Every time we discharged him, he will return to our door steps on the third day without fail. Every time with the same complaint. He was not able to control fluid intake, subsequently taxed the ailing heart, ended up with heart failure symptoms. Despite giving the best medications, he did not want to take because he believed taking too much medications will do him more harm. So if I am on call and he is admitted, I do not need to clerk him, simply give him some advice and a nice bed. That's all.

The second case, 77 years old elderly, initially having acute renal failure, requiring dialysis. But the children strongly believe dialysis will do more harm than good. By going against doctors advice, the patient was going downhill. Currently, her kidneys is damaged beyond repair. But her will to live is strong. She had multiple episode of severe ulcers bleed, the next day I come, she is still alive. The daughter refused to take back the mother because apparently no brothers and sisters will take the responsibility to take care of the mother in the care towards the end and there were no maid at home. The best option is to let the staff nurse to take the responsibility of the children to take care of the mother. So until now, we still can't discharge her.

The third case, a 30+ guy, actively injecting drugs, despite went in and out institution, still unable to stop this habit. He would come in every other week for worsening abdominal distention. His liver was already cirrosed, because of viral hepatitis. When he was in the second home, he wreaked havocs. The staff nurses loathed him because he stole their ketchup. However, he has passed away unfortunately due to severe liver failure.

Hospital is not only the place for the sick. It is also the place for the unwanted, the lonely, the leftover, the unemployed, and those who wanted free food with some hospitality. My hospital door is always open (because there is no door!). Welcome to our second home.

Length Doesn't Matter, or Really?

I was doing my respiratory rotation when he admitted to the ward. Pretty advanced cancer of the oesophagus spreading to the lungs. He was breathless all the time. Chest tube was attempted by me and the initial drain was like a water hose spurting out the putrid greenish fluids. Afterwards, his breathlessness was gone.

Two weeks later, I learned from my friend that he passed away. Cause by failed ventilatory support system. Sad, nevertheless. But I learn something from this gentleman.

You can learn a lot from the patient if only you see. Whenever during visiting hours, the bedside is full with concerning friends and relatives, you know either he has a good social support or second possibility is that he has a lot of money and the will is not made yet. If you see a bouquet of flower on the desk, there is someone care enough to give the well wishes for the patient.

This patient of mine was a teacher. A secondary school teacher. What is peculiar about him was if you speaks malay with him, he will answer in english. Maybe that was his style. He will question every management plan we had for him, like why is this medication on, why is this procedures carried out.

With his death, his teaching life came to abrupt full stop. But many had learned from him, and become a useful person to the society. He may not teach anymore but his teaching still passed on. On the day of his death, there were a crowd more than 50 that came for him, the largest I've seen so far. The wife came up to me with teary eyes, thanked me for taking care of the husband. It stirs my inside, and I loss my speech. I just return her a sincere smile.

You may say he live a short life. Nevertheless, it was a meaningful and purposeful life, I say. Does the length really matter, huh?

The Final Step Between Learning and Earning Years

Last week I finally attended my graduation. Five years of hardship turning into something rewarding. Walking up on stage, getting the scroll, snap-snap, meeting friends and talking dreams. Now I am a degree holder, haha!

Somewhere before the convocation, we some couple of old friends met up to chit chat. When I thought I worked so very hard, on call almost 10 times per month, there is someone else worse than me. My friend in Sungai Petani had to do calls up to 15x a month! That is equal to doing every other day calls. Phew! Some had significant loss of weight. Others are doing easy calls like 5 to 6 times a month with not much patient to care of. But some did not live to the good name of the University. I heard he left the hospital during his call to meet up with his partner and the whole hospital was looking for him. Irresponsible.

People come with many faces, and many behaviours. What separates us is our attitude. If we have positive attitude, then we will survive well. On the other hand, if we give the impression to other people that we are lazy, then working will be like living in hell. When you manage patient, you can't be lazy. That is what my Prof Emeritus Dr Adeeb favorite quote. Lets give it a deep thought, my friends.

The graduation bell is ringing this Saturday. Now I am on leave from the hectic work of medicine to enjoy some peace. Will keep posted with photos later.

This Old Man, He Play One, He Play Nick Nack...

I came to know an old man. A lonely old man.

He loves to wait by the telephone for her daughter to call, but they seldom do.

He loves to watch movies on big screens, yet no one has time to accompany him.

He loves to cook nice dishes, sometimes the taste can go awfully wrong, and no one there to eat the food.

He loves to travel, yet no one would look after the house for him.

He loves to talk, yet walls is the only listener for most days.

He loves to try his luck on the scratch ticket, yet no one share the joy of winning with him.

He loves to sleep during noon time, because time is easier to go by to fill up the absence.

He loves to learn English, asking his grandson grammars and pronunciation, because that is the communication link between both of them.

He loves his family, and do not know how much love the family gave returned to him.

He is

My grandpa

Goh, can you do me a favor...

Into working life for about two months now. Start to see things clearer. And I start to know people.

There are a type of people, who is genuinely being a friend with you, helping you out, guide you and cover your back. They treat you as a team, working together towards a common goal.

On the other hand, there are also people who likes to take advantage on other people, thinking that everyone else is stupid and they are the only clever one on earth. Every time a challenging task is assigned to them, they will start to find every one else:" Can you do me this favor?" "Can you help me with this?" "I am really rushing home. Can you manage this case for me?" All sorts of excuses, to evade from work. These people haven't grown out of their cocoon world, still living in the student years, where there is no need for responsibility. In the student years, you can leave the ward anytime you want, throw aside the branula for the houseman if you can't set it and have plenty of holidays. Not anymore since I ventured into housemanship time.

Everyone is getting the same pay. Why would one answer so many favours while the other one just wait and see? Between giving fishes and teaches a person to fish, I would rather go for the latter. As the time comes, our service will be needed to do the daunting task in the middle of the night without any guidance. Only pure skill will help us through. I don't mind sharing the skills, which I did most of the time. But I hate people taking advantage by asking favor everytime the same problem arise.

And the third type of people are those who only work within their working boundaries. They did their job perfectly well, no question asked. But when it comes to do a little bit more, they will be calculative. Team spirit is never existence. These people are hard to work with as well. In the end, the one that works alone will be suffering more.

Which types are you belongs to?

The Meaning of Life

Life...


Life is between this breath and the next. Are you aware of the breath you are taking now? Are you consciously believe that you are alive now?


Many don't. Many take for granted for this life. Some even wasting their life now.


Without knowing it, the next breath that we take will be more effortful, more difficult. Every breath we take brings us closer to death. whatever said, it is not the destination that matters. The journey through this life is the things that bring colours to our life.

I work along with death. I see him many times a day. In the morning, during ward rounds, when I am having lunch, and especially in the middle of the night when everyone is fast asleep. I particularly remembered one event, seeing Mr. Death in the resuscitation room. He brought along a boy, in his early twenties, left a lifeless body with many fractures and scars. At one glance, most probably high velocity motor vehicle accident that cause his demise. Another glance, maybe he is someone that I mentioned before, someone who wasted their life by racing illegally. Cause of death - polytrauma and spleen ruptured leading to hypovolaemic shock.

Today, 364 days to my 27 birthday. War of the the middle earth has ceased. The race to the end has already begun.

When The Pager Rings...

I couldn't help but agree to my Professor who said this to us one day...

" When I was a student, I longed to have that pager when I work as Doctor. When I first had a hold on the pager, how I wished I wouldn't have it."

On my second day of on-call, I was doing 3rd/4th caller, which means I care for 2 passive wards as well as the whole hospital where medical patient is located. That covers from rhesus room in emergency department till the first class in 8th floor.

The first ring from the pager when I was doing my morning rounds. It was a call from first class ward.

"Hello, Dr. This is ward 8A. We have a patient from medical side. She is currently complaining of..."

"No, no, no, This is 8.30 am. You should call the the peripheral doctor in charge." I said.

"Is that so? OK then."


The second one was about 2.30pm. It was from 2197, rhesus room.

"Dr Goh, please come down to rhesus room now for a arterial blood gas sampling."


I was doing my acute rounds in female ward when the third and fourth pager blares.

"Dr Goh, there is a patient complaining of cough. Can you come over to see him?" This one from first class ward.

"How bad is the cough? I am doing acute rounds now. How bad is the patient?"

"Not very bad. SpO2 is stable"

"Then prescribe her with syrup diphenhydramine 15 mls stat and tds."

The other one from second class ward.

"Dr, there is a patient requires a headblock (needle inserted for drip infusion or intravenous medication). Can you come down please?"

"I am still doing my acute bed rounds. Could that patient waits?"

"Yes."

"Ok then, I will come down when I finish the acute rounds."

When I finish the acute rounds it was already 8.30 pm. So I went to insert the headblock to the patient. It was a male patient.

The fifth pager rings when it was about 12.30 am. Again, it was from the rhesus room asking me to do ABG sampling.

Finally, I get a chance to sleep at 2 am.

Beep! Beep! (2.30 am)

"Hello, HO medical on call speaking. How can I help you?"

"This is from the second class ward. There is a patient complaining of cough and wants to see a doctor."

"What? Only cough? At 2.30 am?"

"Yes Doctor."

It was the same patient that I inserted the headblock just now. When I finished my duty that night, it was already 3 am. Morning is just 2 steps away.

The Difficult People

Somewhere in life, you had and ought to deal with extremely difficult people. I had one encounter last 3 weeks...

(Not to name this person as my future will be in jeopardy)

This person is my superior. He/she decides when do I starts working, when do I get my holiday and when do I get to upgrade to the next level. Glad enough he.she does not decide whether I get paid or not. So I was on tagging for the first 2 weeks. Towards the end of tagging, we will be reassessed whether we were deemed suitable or not for on-call.

At day 12 of tagging, I was extremely tired. Constant lack of sleep does not do any good to this barely functioning body. So I met up with this superior to discuss whether I can off tag slightly earlier than schedule. I believed I am competent enough to do the crap job.

No

There came his/her reply. Straight on the face. The reason being I haven't completed my procedures. Fair enough. Luckily that night she was having calls. So I got change to 'show' that I am able to do my procedures well. On the day 14, I went to find this superior again and finally green light was given for me to off tag.

Not so lucky for my friend that started her medical posting 5 days later than me. She is still on tag until today. That is like day 18 of tagging. Heard that she had problem with this superior.

How to deal with the difficult people?

This is my style:

1. Always says yes. Even though they were wrong, or against your principle. There is not much harm to follow them as compare to having them picking on us.
   
2. Always follows their order. They maybe having a set of their ways in doing things that may not be of our liking, but they are our superior. They give orders, we follows.
   
3. Always turn to a deaf ear for bad remarks. It is always nice to have a good ear and a bad ear so you could 'switch off' those hurtful words. Never, ever answer back on those bad remarks or being emotionally because that could leave a lasting scar on the relationship.
   
4. Always look forward to the good things ahead e.g. paychecks, future improvements and important things to do. If we think this is our life and it never progress, then we are wrong. I always look forward to the time I myself become a superior, and always believe that the time of being houseman is only temporary, a stepping stone to become a specialist. Only then we will ignore all this tiny mini ripples in life.

If I am wrong, please do correct me. I am only learning on how to start my life.

The Fragility of Life

Life is so fragile...

I remembered setting a CVP line for an old man who was just admitted for cardiac failure. He was still talking to the children, like nothing ever happen. The next moment, I was doing resuscitation on him, while his life gently fade away and left behind a lifeless and cold body.

It has been my life, or rather my job to save life. Yet sometimes, sometimes life and death is not in my hand. I can do as much as to help. The fragility of life is something I must learn, and adapt well.

(This week I had seen at least 10 deaths)

A New Beginning

A new dawn, tomorrow, it will be. A brand new start. A new page, a new chapter, a new leaf... So many words, yet it means only a thing, I am happy being posted back to Kuantan Hospital to serve my housemanship.

This few weeks I had been undergoing kursus induksi and kem biro tata negara. Tired. Yet happy to catch up with the friends. It was the last chance to gather them together for about 3 weeks to attend a course. Kind of missed them now.

Happy, yet anxious for whatever that may come tomorrow. I had never ventured this far before. Working life was a new thing to me. Whatever the outcome maybe, come what may. I will, I shall and I believe I can face it and deal with it.

All I need now is some sleep. Then some strength, then some luck, then...

Five Days, Five States, One Thousand Kilometers and Massive Dose of Fun: Part 3 - There and Back Again

Previous post:

After the 2 days 1 night stay in Langkawi, the group went back to Penang island by boat and depart to Ipoh on the next day. Ipoh mari!

Day 4:

Seng Fai insisted to drive. So he take the wheels from Penang up to Ipoh. It was noon then when we reached. Hot as ever. Jam as ever. Lunch settled in a famous kopitiam shop in oldtown Ipoh. I guess that's the origin of the famous Oldtown Kopitiam. The fullness of dim sum in the morning carried over till noon. So we had a kaya toast, peanut butter toast and some kuih. The coffee was particularly nice for me, but gave others tachycardia because of the high level of caffeine.

The oldtown 'oldtown Kopitiam' in Ipoh

The next goal in Ipoh was to look for the famous caves. There are a few to start with, but the famous ones are Kek Lok Cave, Sam Po Cave, and the one with Guan Yin Cave. The first cave we visited was the Kek Lok Cave. It was a huge cave with Buddha statues inside and the exit of the cave overlook a nice lotus pond. The atmosphere outside and inside the cave is totally different. Inside the cave, you feel the darkness and the dampness and the water dribbling down from the ceiling. It was eerie inside. Outside, it seems like a whole new world, you can leave behind those worries and stresses. Time had already frozen in this wonderful place. The lotus was blooming. Soft breeze brushes your face. We sat for a long time in this shangri-la.

Kek Lok Cave - from the inside

The lotus pond


Julian is in ecstasy

The next cave we ventured into was the Sam Poh Caves. Similarly, there is a buddhist temple build into the cave and the exit also goes out into another isolated world. Somehow, they had built a monastery in this place, which looks grand besides the mountain. We had little time spent here as they were closing the cave for religious ceremony.

The monastery in Sam Poh Cave

We did not stay overnight in Ipoh as it was a labour day then. Hotel rate would be at its peak. So we decided to drive back to KL on the same day. Ming Huei already booked us for dinner at her father's shop in Sunway. After diner, we went to stay overnight in Seng Fai's house.

Day 5:

On the last day of the trip, We planned to go to Sungai Gabai waterfall. This time, Peggy and Ka Man joined us. So a party of 7 person went to this waterfall. We went the wrong way and the long way by going to Semenyih first. However, I never regretted taking that road because we enjoyed a scenery beyond words. There was a lake, or a water reservoir and the road snaked around the lake. The view in the morning was most refreshing. Along the way, we met an aborigine settlement. It was a long drive down to this waterfall. As a conclusion, this is a way more beautiful waterfall compared to Telaga Tujuh in Langkawi. We had to climb a stair for about 10 minutes to reach the top. There were natural water slide. We waded in the shallow pool and had picnic there. It was the last stop of our trip. I had so much fun. Hope in future we have opportunity to gather again for another adventure.

Waterfall in Sungai Gabai

One of the stopping place for photos along the 10 minutes climb

Five Days, Five States, One Thousand Kilometres, and Massive Dose of Fun: Part 2 - Langkawi

Tanjung Rhu, a must visit place in Langkawi

I could believe this is somewhere oversea if not for the hot temperature

I could live here, you know

After being sentenced to death for the adultery that she didn't commit, Mahsuri lay a curse before her last breath. "I will be the witness, for 7 generations, Langkawi will be the land of drought and waste (padang jarak padang terkukur)." Legend says her blood spurted out was white in colour. The rice planted there after was 'burned'. Langkawi was backward as people deserted this land.

Day 2:

There goes the legend of the beautiful lady and her tragic death. We reached the island about noon time. It was hot like an oven. Since we can't transport our car over here, the next natural things to do is to rent a car. 6 people, 5 seater, what to do? 2 cars or 1 car? After a lengthy discussion, we opted for 1 car, as petrol and going places was the main concern. We do not have a guide either. We rented a 7 seater MPV Innova for a price of RM 130. That was further discounted to RM 110 for it is non peak day. Haha. Whereas if we get 2 cars, it will cost RM 50 each. With a car, we were able to move around. We rented a motel in town, which was RM 100 for deluxe room with air-conditioning and also RM 10 discount.

Lunch was at a small place in the Kuah town as someone insisted to have Chinese food. Not very nice food, though. Then we visited the famous Mahsuri tomb. Along the way, we stop by a nice watching place. The label of the place is pathetically small but the scenery is first class. The sky was not doing any good. Soon, it rains cats and dogs. The scheduled 1 hour became 2. Glad, after the downpour, the sky turn sunny again. The next stop, 7 wells waterfall. Actually, the waterfall was not as good as it sounds. It was like watching a baby pee on top of the falls. The water stream is very small. Downhill, we bought tickets to go up the famous cable car in Langkawi. Weather was clear then but the cable car operator refused us to go up the cable car! After one hour, it was still the same. There was no point arguing with them. So there is an excuse for us to go to Langkawi again next time.

I believe I can fly... On the watching place

Now you see what I mean. You call this waterfall? I called this 'pee' fall

Geopark, where the cable car is

Beautiful girls on rocks, but all taken

This make a good roast for dinner

Oh my rabbit stew, nice and sweet.

After the cable car thingy, we went across the island to the black sand beach. Nothing special. It is a long stretch of beach with a very little playable place and dirty sands. But Tanjung Rhu is way different. You need to drivetill the end of the road, and you will come across a nice beach. Perfect place for sunset watching and seaside walking. The beach is serene and picturesque. Alas, too much cloud. So we packed up early for dinner.

This could be a winning shot if only the clouds were gone. Anyway, we were aiming for sunset

Beach girlsThe beauty of the beach marred by these guys

Night time is good time to let loose. Someone again suggested we make cheap tequila pop since alcohol is cheap on this island. You can get a Carlsberg with 20 cents extra compare to a 100 Plus. We guys got very drunk that night. I never had liquor in my life and that night i lost my alcohol 'virginity' to it. Funny things is that none of us said we were drunk when we can't even walk straight to toilet. That is how an alcoholic always do, right?

Day 3:

The next day, we went to the underwater world, but decided not to go in for the entrance fees was too high. We went to the duty free shop next door, instead. The last stop in Langkawi was Dataran Lang, where a huge eagle overlooking the sea port. Nothing new to me as this is the same eagle 10 years ago.

We boarded the 2 pm boat back to Penang and stayed a night over there. At night, we had dinner in a hawker centre near Sunway Carnival and coffee afterwards. You guess what's on the menu. Its wanton mee! After the goodbyes, we were prepared to go for our next stop, Ipoh.

Day 4:

Breakfast was with Shui Wei's parent as they insisted. We had overloaded ourselves with Dim Sum, which was very nice indeed. After 2 days of getting in touch with the Penangites, I found out that they develop a very sensitive sense of taste. They can tell you this fried kuey teow lack of the wok Qi eventhough we can't spot any difference.

Its time to zoom-zoom again, this time to Ipoh.

To be continued: Part 3 - Ipoh and back to KL again

Five Days, Five States, One Thousand Kilometres, and Massive Dose of Fun: Part 1 - KL, Penang

Old Clock Tower near the jetty, Penang

Holiday is always the time to go around the places you wanted to visit. I had chance to travel up north to Penang and Langkawi during this summer holiday with couple of my friends. Initially, there were 7 people, but the company shrink into 5 people due to some unavoidable reasons. Anyway, we set out on a fine morning to our destination - Langkawi.

Day 1:

To meet up with the company, I had drove from Kuantan to Kuala Lumpur the day before. Before daybreak, I drove to Seng Fai's House in Pandan Indah. A total of 4 person including me, Seng Fai, Ming Huei and Kok Chong started our journey from here. It was Monday Morning and the famous "KL Jam" just started. We spent half an hour from his house to get to Jalan Loke Yew. There, we had our breakfast in 亨记 Restaurant. The shop is famous for its wanton mee (云吞面). That morning, I had some bread before departure, so I ordered a small sized mee just to taste. The waiter looked at me and ask me again: "You want double mee or big mee?" "Just a small one will do." I said. Later, when the food was served, I ended up with biggest plate! What to do? I spread out mine to Kok Chong and Seng Fai, who already ordered a double mee. Kok Chong gave me a killer look that morning.

Our host and guide, Shui Wei with her F1 driving skills in Penang

We reached Penang about 1 pm. Luckily, our accomodation was arranged by Shui Wei. She spared out 2 rooms for us in her house in Bukit Mertajam. It was lunch time then, and the traffic congestion was at its peak. So we decided to call up Prai friends to meet up and have fun together. Lunch was at Chun Siong's father shop, which is also famous for the wanton mee. So we had the second helpings of wanton mee for the day and that was not the last. After gathering up Ling Shie and Chun Siong, we decided to cross over to Penang Island.

The first stop, Kek Lok Si (极乐寺). It is a well known Buddhist temple with a huge figurine of Guan Yin that stood up for few storeys high. Personally, I had been there about 10 years ago. Renovation was under progres to build a huge shade. There is a saying that nowadays all Penangite worships Guan Yin (since Guan Eng been installed and the CM of Penang). Other attraction of this place is a tortoise pond and the temples around.

The most priced figurine of Guan Yin - under renovation

Me and Kok Chong posing under the shadow of the Pagoda, also under renovation

After that, we went down to Farlim to look for Apple (not the type that grows on a tree, but a person). and we had a nice bowl of Laksa with 清補涼. The laksa served in Penang is garnished with slices of fish, lots of big onion, mint leaves and pineapples. Spicy and mouth-watering. Some will add the prawn paste just to sweetened the soup but I preferred not to. Meanwhile waiting for the Penang bridge jam to pass over, we went to Batu Feringgi. The sky was cloudy then and thunderstorm was building up. Without warning, the rain falls and we ran for shelter in Gurney Plaza. The rain won't stop until about 8 pm. Then we left the shopping complex to cross over to Butterworth.

We had our dinner in Da Wei which is a hawker centre with some of the very nice local delicacies you can find in Penang. We ordered Lo Bak, fried egg with oyster, fried kuey teow, curry mee, and popiah. The price were reasonable. Funny thing is that most of the company ordered iced Ambla with sour plum, a highly recommended drink in Penang.

It was a long first day, and we need a rest for a long day ahead, as we are crossing Penang to Langkawi.
Day 2:

At the break of dawn, drove from Bukit Mertajam to Butterworth and took my ride for her first time to cross the straits of Penang by using ferry. Then we took the boat transfer from Penang to Langkawi. Most of the boat company charges the same rate at RM 55 per single ride and you can get a little bit of discount (RM 5 only) if you purchase the return ticket immediately. Tips: Do specify your return time properly for there is a chance that you might not be able to catch a boat ride back to Penang if the boat is full. The boat ticket only valid for 24 hours.

To be continued in Part 2: Langkawi

This is Where I Called Home

Let me introduce myself to you guys. My name is Muthu. I am eight. Eldest of the five siblings. All are boys, the youngest is 1 year old. I never attended to any formal school until now. My parents never send me to one. I am staying in a hut as you can see with a blown off roof after the last thunderstorm and a door that barely close. There were no windows.

I introduce my mom first as she is the person that I see the most everyday. My father seldom at home. He loves alcohol more than our family. My mother is currently expecting another baby. Heard that it is a girl this time. I seldom see my dad. He is never at home. I don't know what he is. Only thing I know when he is back is mother will get hit and we all siblings we got beaten up for no reason at all. Since he has this new found girlfriend, he came home less and less. I knew my mother cried a lot for him.

Since I am not attending any school, I had plenty of time. I like playing around with friends. Though they always have some shiny new toys I could only hoped for. So I found a way to make money. I asked from people. Sometimes, on 'luckier' day, I could earn myself a can of coke. 'Bad' days can be really terrible. Anyway, I don't enjoy reading. I can't read anyway. Although I hate it, I have to take care of my younger siblings for my mother sake.

Life is tough. I never want all this responsibility of grown man. I wanted to play, I wanted to go to school like the other boys, to see the world. Above all, I wanted a home that is warm, a father that provides, mother that heal all the wounds, and everyone around table to enjoy a nice dinner. Not this and definitely not what I had now! I am so longed for a change in my life and fate.

To see this broken family really breaks my heart. They were a defunct family living off the main road from Kuantan to Gambang. They were the poorest of the poor among the area. The house they lived is no living condition. Torn down roof, no rooms, poor sanitation, with food and faeces lying around. Anyway, it is a shelter provided by some kind people. They were like a roadkill from the economic highway.

Father does not has a permanent job and mother is a housewife. Most of the income were spent on the drinking behaviour. Moreover, the father is abusive at times and his beating never spared the younger child as well. Education for the young one never seems important. The health condition were terrible. Almost all of them having head lice manifestation with the second youngest child having scabies infection as well. I have no doubt that the other siblings will have the same infection. All of them seems malnourished and looks small for their age. The mother, though pregnant, never attended the routine maternity clinic check-up for the young one inside.

People around had been trying to help them, with monetary support from governmental agency, non-governmental organisation and people with a heart of a Buddha. People donated food and clothing to fulfil only the basic necessities but they were far from enough. They need better homes, and most important, education to promise a brighter future for the younger generations. With the help of people who cares, this family will be relocated to the foster home to ensure proper living condition and schooling for the child. There is still hope if everyone only lend their helping hand.

The Money-Making Pet

This is not a zoo. This, in fact is my house. And this is no ordinary monkey. His name is 'Beruk'. He is owned by Pak Mat Beruk (in local tongue we pronounce as 'Pok Mat Berok'). His job? He plucks coconut for Pak Mat. How they pluck the coconut is fun to see. First, he will climb up the coconut tree. Then he will liaise with Pak Mat on which coconut to pluck (you don't want a young green coconut to be plucked as the flesh is still relatively thin and no value). Pak Mat will shoosh here, praise there and they will get job done. After that, he will be rewarded with food.

This is a thriving local industry in my home town. Coconut fetch a very good price in the market and it is in all time demand. The coconut-plucking monkey enjoy his job, and I am going too, in the month to come when I start my job.

Combo of Pak Mat and his beruk equals to nicely skinned coconuts

Bak Kut Teh: Smelly Pork No More

Do you know that bak kut teh originates from Malaysia? Have you ever wondered how it come by? According to local people, it started as the manual workers that works in seaports of Klang long time ago was looking for a way to curb the stench of cooking the pork raw. They needs something filling for their job nature as well and the bak kut teh served with rice is just the answer for a hungry man's call. So they found the way by adding certain chinese herbs to the stew will bring out the aroma and curb the smell. Now it had evolved from worker's meal to all time favourite of Malaysian.

Nowadays you can easily find bak kut teh everywhere in Malaysia, but with their own variations. Usually, it is served in claypots to preserve the heat. Almost all part of the pork whichever is edible will be thrown into the stew. The soup is between clear to dark colour depends on the chef. Usually, there will be garnish such as lettuce, and you char kuay. There will be strong smell of herbs usually. It will go along very well with chinese tea. Usually, in bak kut teh shops, you will see pots of water boiling beside the main table. This is for the customer to refill the tea themselves.

Yesterday I had a chance to taste the well known bak kut teh in Klang itself. It was one of the well known shop near the port Klang. We called for both soupy and dry bak kut teh. The dry type according to the owner, is a new taste. For the soupy one, the taste was just okay, too mild to my liking. And the selection of the meat was mostly the fat one. As for the dry bak kut teh, after the meat was boiled, it was fried with dark soy sauce and chilis. So it tasted a little bit seet and hot. Anyway, not bad overall. The price was fair, about RM 12 per person.

If you happen to have a chance to enjoy this dish, please do so. It will surely leave a lasting impression of a special taste in Malaysia.

Oh I Love You So Much, My Love Durian

So they say, durian is the king of all fruits. Some like it, some loath it. It can be anything from the
best thing in the world to the piece of thing that smells like a rotten fish.

It is spring time again. The durian trees is blossoming. There is a nice fragrant in the air. Between sakura and durian flower, I like the latter more. All because it turn into little durian fruit later. I say, durian is a weird fruit. It is covered in spikes all over the skin. yet the flesh is sliky smooth and glistening yellow in colour. In three months time, some these flower will turn into fruit and ripe.


It is best to enjoy a durian when it is fresh, best about 12 hours after it fall. If we eat the fruit right after it fall, it will smell like grass and the fruit will be slightly hard. This year, the trees flowers a lot, compared to last year. Hope it all turn into lots of durian.

Celine Dion 'Taking Chances' World Tour Live in KL Attended

I had an amazing weekend. It was all because of Celine Dion. She had performed her best for us, Malaysians in her 'Taking Chances' World Tour in Stadium Merdeka.

The weather was not helping very much initially. It was heavy downpour since 3 pm in KL. However, the weather changed to clear sky at about 5 pm. Me and my mom went there early, so there wasn't so much of traffic and parking was easy. This is the first time she attends any concerts and I thought of bringing her to experient how a live music would feels like. We parked in front of the Victoria Institute. However, the person in charged of parking came and collect RM 10 from us! Who are they actually? The car was parked on the pedestrian's walkway . I never knew the walkway was theirs. Anyway, we just paid.

At 5.30 pm, there was already people lining up to get into the stadium. Celine was singing that time! She dressed in green top and red pants and she sang 'Taking Chances'. After 2 songs, there were no more singing. We waited for at least one hour and the crowd is building up very fast. 10 minutes before seven we were able to be seated in the stadium. As you can see from the photos, there were a very weird structure situated between the RM 400++ seats and it was in the middle. Thus everyone avoided sitting in the middle part of the stadium that faces the centre stage. The stage was quite plain, with 3 big screens and no fancy stuffs, so the enjoyment is purely from the performance of Celine. Meantime, the waiting process was very long and boring as well because there were no slideshow or whatsoever being put up on the big screens. There were only some crappy music box-like songs being played. Wished the organizer could improve on this next time. There were quite a holdup because the VIPs were late. So the show begins at about 9 pm, which was 1 hour later from schedule.

All I can say is Celine Dion is absolutely a superstar. She never failed to entertain us with her strong and powerful vocal and at times, she was witty as well. She is a true singer. It was an one and a half hour intense show. She sang most of her hits such as 'I drove all night', ''Because you love me', 'It's all coming back to me', 'Pour Que Tu M'aimes Encore', 'I'm alive', 'River deep mountain high' and songs from her latest album such as 'Taking chances', 'Alone', 'Eyes on me', 'My love' and many more. She ends with 'My heart will go on'. Amazing. As for the clothing, she had been conservative. She wore a silver shining dress, and leather pants throughout the show and only changed to a white gown for the last song. She had been sweating like mad, though.

Even the King also attended her performance. Among the VVIPs were Siti Nurhaliza and Tun Mahathir's son. After the concerts, I managed to grab a poster of her, haha. She will bound for Manchester, UK for her next stop. This will be a memorable time for me and my mother. Thanks to you, Celine. Happy belated 40th birthday, Celine.

The centre stage from where I seat

The RM 200++ seating, not yet packed because it was still early

My mom and her first time in concert

The line behind me at bout 6 pm.

That is how far I was from the entrance. There was a weirdo wearing rain coat (in yellow) despite no rain.