The Depth of Death

Death has been a topic which people discussed with a hush voice. It is a word that you shouldn't use during festive season as people will scowl at you. Yet I had written a handful of blogs regarding death.

The fundamental rule: Everyone must go through death at least once. Some people had escaped death, coming back to tell tales about near dying experience. Which brings to the fundamental rule No 2: You can delay death, to the extend of prolonging death, but you can't totally avoid death. Patient with brain death can be hooked on the ventilator machine. The can breath. They have heart beat. But once without the mechanical support, he or she is very vulnerable.

I don't like death. It brings tears to people, it breaks the heart. But I faced with death, day in and out. No matter what you do, you just can't avoid death. If you face death like a journey that one must endure, then death may come with less pain.

One good friend of my parents were diagnosed with advance breast cancer about a year ago, competed surgery and chemotherapy. About 2 weeks back, she had a fall one day at home and was brought to the a private hospital. CT scan of brain were done, showing multiple metastasis to the brain. Nothing curative were able to be done at that moment. Family members were desperate, seeking for second opinion, asking for miracle to happen. Everyone seems to know the diagnosis except the patient herself. She was kept from the truth, fearing that the truth will burden her already troubled mind. They brought her to hospital, asking doctors to do further active management for her.

I believe this is not the first case. Most of us face death with fear, only few have courage to stand up. More often than not, we often omit how the patient feel with regards to her own body. If you are the patient, lying on the death bed, will you don't want to know what is wrong with you? Will you like the truth to be buried with you to the grave? Most of the time, the patient is not blind, death or dump to be not able to guess what is wrong with her own body. Yet, she has no right towards her own body when it comes to death? What if the patient wish to meet certain people, to forgive some relatives and to repay some old dept before she dies, wouldn't she feel regretted for not able to do so? If she wish to donate her organs to benefit many, we would have selfishly denies her to do so. Death is not as simple as close your eyes. There are many legal matters involved. For example, bank accounts, saving bonds and funds that needs to be transfered to some one else. These things, although small, will be a big hassle for those who live on.

Please, do not deny the patient from the truth. It hurts me every time I faced with this situation. When you come to make decision for other people, always put yourself in other people's shoe. Do you want to be treated that way? If the answer is no, please don't do it on other people. You have absolutely no rights over other people.