草草了事

要简简单单，还是隆重？
要花花绿绿，还是朴素？
要不懈重本，还是节俭？
选择，实在让人头疼。

他们说，不在于结果，只在于过程中的点点滴滴，
而我却在苦中作乐。

马马虎虎，草草了事；
仔细挑剔，隆重复杂。
一切随缘，快乐就好。

The Dog-faced and The Dog-breathed

Someone to hold your hand

Last night, another kid try to take his life.

He is the dog-faced. We (the semi-alert on-call doctors) are the dog-breathed.

He is an 18 years-old. He had met his hurdle in life, and I am sure this might not be his first. There is always a mixed feelings when examination results were released. Yesterday was SPM results announcement. He is unhappy with his results. And he took a total of 50+ tablets, containing a mixture of paracetamol, loratadine, cinnarizine, and maxolon. The mother found him 4 hours later, in severe abdominal pain, but luckily he is not intoxicated.

I could remember how elated my feelings were when I get hold on to the results slip. It wasn't because my results were that good, just seeing that what I had worked for bring fruits and what I prayed for were answered. It is a relief that is beyond words. It is a feeling of putting down a stone from the inside your heart. But soon after that, another stone will starts to grow and the cycle repeats again...

There are many ways we can choose to handle the critical situation. He might had flung his examinations, but there is always a way to go about it. He can ask for help. He can talk to his friends or parents or his teachers. He can share it out. He can get self-help, or learn to forget. Is there something wrong with our society's support system that makes it difficult for young adults like him to get help?

I try to talk to him, to peel into his self defense. Unsuccessful. He choose to keep it a secret. Or he is too shy and regretted to what he did. All his vitals were stable and blood parameter were luckily normal. IV's were pumped in to rehydrate him. He survived, at least for another day.

If we try to see our problem from different perspective, or just stand back and looking at the problems again, the matter might just shrunk and disappeared after all. There is always a way to every situation and there is always something good behind things that seems so bad. For example, you fall sick, very very badly and recovered from it, you will develop immunity and become stronger.

For me, the best way to overcome a problem is with a song. Singing put away all your stress. It is as good as any tranquilizer. And there is just the perfect song for all troubles. "Let It Be" by The Beatles. My all-time favorites.

The Voice of a Nanyang Chinese

Malaysians

Often, i came across teachers who made headlines by provoking the students in class,
usually involves racial issues. "Kamu orang Cina balik ke negara China!" means you
Chinese go back to your home country, China. This is really regrettable, especially when
nation unity involving multi-racial and diverse cultural background is at stake.

Truely, majority of Chinese were immigrants during the rise of industrial age during late
19th and early 20th century, to fulfill the job vacancy such as miners, traders and manual
labours. Those jobs were regarded as unfavorable by the indigenous then. The influx of
Chinese and Indian were fueled by the ambition of our previous colonial rulers to gain
their foothold, making profits and the race to conquer South East Asia. Many of our
grandparents were from China, or their parents originated there. Many travelled south in
search of better future and hoping that one day will bring the hard-earned cash to feed the
hungry ones in China.

This trend took a major turn during the World War II, when the rising if the Communist
party, taking over the whole China. The motherland become a place of desolate. Many
Nanyang Chinese had forgone the idea of going back, had choose Malaya and Singapore
as their new settlement. They married and lay roots here since then.

What about those Chinese who migrates early (around 1500 a.d) during the time of the
rise of Malacca as the entreport? They had long been part of the society and blended in.
This is what you see in the Baba and Nyonya culture, distinctively in Malacca. Are they
considered as the indigenous people?

My story is about how my rgrandparents came about. My paternal side grandfather
originated from China, came to Malaysia as manual worker, to built houses. My
grandmother borne in Malaysia. Her father came from China, settled here early. My
maternal side is complicated. My grandfather is a mixture of Thai and Chinese. My
maternal grandmother is borne in Malaysia. Siamese people roamed the northern part
of Malaysia, blended in to the local people. It was used to be Thailand territory, until the
Britons made a deal with the King of Thailand, and the 4 northern states became part of
the Malaya. So can he (my maternal grandfather) be considered as the indigenous people,
or the most important question, can I be considered as indigenous?

It doesn't matter anymore. The newer generation already regards Malaysia as their home
land. They never get to know what happens in China or India that much now, all they care
is about the land they set foot on. Like me, I had never been to China yet, and my root is
deep in Malaysia. If you ask me to go back to China, I will be like an Indonesian coming to
Malaysia. This puzzle piece don't fit anymore.

This is what 1Malaysia means to me.

The White Doves

Many white 'doves', which are quails, actually...

Proposal... checked
Tell the parents... checked
Choosing the pre-wedding photographer... checked
Choosing the white dress... checked
Date and time... checked
Venue... checked
Registration... pending
Wedding band... unable to decide

Chinese style wedding is a very taxing, time-consuming, pocket-emptying exercise. I think that is why Chinese practice monogamy... You simply declare bankruptcy after the event, which last less than 24 hours, by the way. Afterwards you will get explosive migraines looking at the aftermath.

The most important thing (highlight) is not the wedding itself, but is to decide on the venue, and checked with their schedule. Booking must be done real early, if not a year ahead, or you will get some crap dates which everyone will not come because it clashed with the lunar calendar. Speaking of the lunar calendar, it is one of the oddest thing, to start with. There are certain dates that looks just fine, but looking at the lunar calendar, the only thing you are allowed to do is to be buried or move into new house. Chinese have been believing in this things, since ancient times. Seldom people dare to break the believe, nor choose the date that doesn't favors both parties (i.e July in lunar month).

Next thing is to 'tackle' the parents. They said a match made in heaven, I refused to believe it! How can two person on this Earth can come together just like that, a live happily ever after? The habits, cultures, do's and dont's, fixed-false believes cannot just go away. Expectations may not met with reality; spending that doesn't match the earnings. There is a lot of arguments, discussion, despair, tears and finally change and tolerance. Then there comes the true love, that is everlasting, time-tested.

To live together with another person is really a challenging feat. You have to get over her lip-smacking habits, her smell, her messy hair, which is hard at first, but in the end, it is the things you can't live without.

Wishing all my friends who are doing the same at this moment, to enjoy every second of it, and smooth sails ahead.

Suffering of a Soul

What is this?

Ask yourself, if you met a beggar coming to you, will you spare some sympathy or some loose coins? Or you just turn away and ignore his agony, whatever his suffering is all his wrong-doing and bad luck, nothing of your concern. Or you will kick him squarely on his butt, chasing him out of your sight and solve the problems once and for all? What about this is a stray dogs?

I saw a viral video on Facebook about how people tortured their pets, and this feeling came to me. Human has both good and evil side, just like the face of a coin. It is up to our control that which sides prevails. The choice is ours, to choose the dark path or walk the path of light. Seeing the animal cries in pain simply heart-breaking, needless to say it is much more worse for the accomplice.

The situation took a twist in the hospital settings. Often, we gets patients from the prison. They come in bright and colourful clothes, and for a peculiar reasons, their clothes stinks, sour and hard. Some are not well, but truth be told, they are less of a person when they are being admitted. They came in chains, and with a bodyguard. But doctors (generally) thinks they are nuisance, self inflicted illness, or worse still, want to be admitted because wanted to take a 'prison break' and occupy a softy hospital bed instead of a hard cells. Their IV's are difficult to established. Their complaints, no less than a handful, and their stay usually prolonged.

Yet, they are human too. They have names, they have stories, and they have their family who waits for their release one day and pray for their well-being, just like us. Whatever done in the past is NOYB. We can't segregates them just because they are convicts. They are our guest, too. Treatments and care should be given same, if not more for these people. Just offer your service with a sincere heart.

The picture above is the hangman's rope. One day when our life come to end, wouldn't it be nice to know that someone cared for you, too?


NOYB = none of your business!

Lost, and Found Again

Gelora Beach, which means 'Waves' in Malay

Recently, I watched a movie of Shrek. He made a promise with Rumpelstiltskin, in exchange for a day of being an ogre, he gave up one day. And that one day was the day he was born. So he loss everything that he had, including his lovely wife Fiona and three cute ogress. And he was deeply regretted that only when he loss everything, then he only noticed what was gone. Aren't we the same in real life?

I took a walk to the beach one day, only to be amazed by the beauty of the sky and water. It was there all the time, but I never took notice. One day if I left this place, I will surely missed the waves, and the gentle breeze, an awful lot.