Goodbye to You 2008, Welcome 2009!

Year 2008 is coming to an end. Time for a reflection for this eventful year.

No doubt it has been an eventful year for me. In Chinese, 2008 is supposed to be an auspicious number, thus an auspicious year perhaps. Maybe. Maybe not. For the starter, this year marked my grand entrance to the earning years. So far 6 months into working, starting to know more about working world, human relationship, team work and no less, the despair, frustration, lethargy and anger. It's so complicated. Spending money is so much fun, but the hardship of earning money makes me think twice before going on another shopping spree.

It also marks the end of my academic year. Or does it. They say in medical field, learning is an on-going process, so they say. After leaving school, I hardly pick up any academic book to read. I should continuously learning, to better myself. The only problem is I haven't decide on the specialty I want to further myself. I haven't decide what I want, but I will give everything a try first.

Then came my relationship. I did not expect it, nor do I work towards it, but it just came head on. They called it my 'yuan' or love luck has arrived. I have to agree. Love at the first sight, so be it. As long as both of us found what we found, appreciate each other, and care for the counterpart more than self, it should keep the steam of love brimming.

In 2009, I wish that I could achieve five things:

1. Loose weight, make myself looks better and feels even better. This has been my resolution since 6 years old, but I will always work harder to achieve it.
2. Buy a Digital SLR (is this a wish list or a new year resolution?)
   
3. Saving cash, then invest some (the actual amount shall not be disclosed for obvious reason)
   
4. Participate in social service, to give a helping hand to the public. I always like the field of palliative care, which I think I could use my knowledge.
5. Reunite with old mates, throw a good reunion party which everyone can remember upon.

At the end of 2009, I will reflect at the resolution again.

The Unforgettable Journey to Niah

If you happen to live in Malaysia, you will be blessed with many beautiful places to visit. You will definitely be amazed by the breath-taking scenery, the people and the places. I was skeptical, before this. I never imagine the place I grown up to be such a nice traveler's hotspot until now.

I went to Niah cave last week.

Remembering those days, when I was a little boy, one of the chapter in the History book described the greatness of the Niah cave. They said, it can accommodates 40 737 planes inside. You have to see it to believe it.

The Great cave of Niah (so they called it) was 10.9 hectare wide. It accommodates many other small caves. It once was the home for pre-Historic man in Borneo and their proof of living were marked on the wall of Painting Cave.

What I remembered the most from this trip to Niah was the beauty of the cave. It was rainy season. It caused the lake on the mountain to be filled with water and the water flowed through crevices, creating waterfalls inside the cave. The water snakes into the underground river. The sound and the sight of it is the experience of a life time.

I would highly recommend anyone to visit Niah Cave.

收拾心情

最近发生太多不如意的事了。

刚认识的女友，却得了病需要动手术。需要开刀的时候， 身为男友的我， 却不在她身旁，真是遗憾。 但是手术很成功，她安然无恙。心中的大石也就可以放下了。

有人说，一段感情，若没有经过风吹雨打，就经不起时间的考验，我不信！为什么不可以让一切平淡，只有快乐，没有烦恼？难道没有挫折，就不会成长？没有跌倒，就学不会爬起来吗？

工作上也到了一段瓶颈，每天重复做一样的工，面对同样让人气愤的上司下属，每天都要面对工作上的政治。唯有等待下班时跟女友约会，家人用餐，让自己松弛心情。要等待加薪，还有好远；要等待换岗，都要多两个月。

自己开始遗忘最初的理想和梦想了。这些都是属于学生年代的东西，现在面对的是事实。嗨... 难得充实的利用六天的假期，现在还是收拾心情，明天又开工啰！

Silence of the Rain

I was on called yesterday.

Kuantan had been raining cats and dogs for the past three days. There was almost no daylight. I was lying in my bunker. Next to me, a couple is embracing into sweet dream. I hate myself for intruding. So I turn my body the other way, away from them, awaiting the sleep that was hard to come.

The wind is howling outside. Storm was picking up after subsiding for the nth time. The rain hits the window pane, like a bullets in the battlefield. The door in the next room was blown by the strong wind. The sound can be eerie, but my mind is extraordinarily tranquil that time...

I was walking down the rainy road in midnight. The path connecting my room and the main building was uncovered. Storm was blowing cold wind down my neck, sending chills to the spine. The rain was hitting on my face. Questions after questions that I never asked myself before pops up.

Have I found my other part?
Is she the one?
Am I the one?
Have I done too much?
Or too little?
How she feels about me?
Can I really take this responsibility?

I can't stand the rain anymore.

The Breaking of The Self Defence

Before this, I was a strong person. My ego was high. My self esteem is unchallengeable. I am being at the top of myself. Being 25, you feel like you can do anything. You don't need anyone. You are the best of what you are. Until recently, my defenses has eroded. My ego has gone to the drain. I was stripped. I wasn't the 'me' that I looked into the mirror everyday. This has become the new 'me'. I almost don't recognize myself anymore.

I guess being in love means a lot of breaking your ego, challenging the new heights, and being in the place that you never thought you could ventured into. I had been in my comfort zone for too long. This comfort zone had provided me everything I want. I was loved. I was warm. I never need to live in fear. But I had decided to break the circle, jump out my comfort zone. I was prepared to get hurt, again. I am ready for the coldness. I am prepared to go across the hurdle in life.

I am venturing into the new height in my life.