Filial Piety

Today is a special day. At least in Chinese people point of view. It is cheng beng (清明节). Last week, I was hoping that I could make it this year to this occasion, and I made it.

I didn't do it last year as I was in Kuching doing my electives this year around. Basically, it is a tradition of the young one revisit the graves of the remembered ones. They will bring along their offerings to be given to the remembered. Nowadays, it is ridiculous! They had commercialize the offering, making Mercedes Benz with driver, TV sets, hand phone, massage chair, even maids and latest addition is LV branded bags! The event which was solemnly done now becoming an extravaganza celebration. Instead of firecrackers, now they even put up a firework display in front of the graveyard. Cheng Beng had become like a new year... With modernisation, hope that the core value of this day will not change, that is to relinquish the loved one and practice filial piety (孝).

It is a norm for our family to visit 2 graveyard on this day. One is my late great grand mother, which originates from Guang Dong province. The other grave is for my Paternal Grandfather and grandmother. Walking down the same hill brings back do many memories of the last moment before they were cremated. It was my late grandmother that went ahead of my late grandmother due to colon cancer. Grandpa said a very touching word to her before she passed away. "Do wait for me when you got there". Grandpa suffered very bad diabetes, complicated with pancreatitis and systemic infection. I did had chance to visit him 2 days before passed away. He was in Intensive Care Unit. It was during one of my third year semester break. I never regretted that I spent quality time with him. I did a lot of dressing for his ulcers. As far as I can remember, we always have communication problem. He speaks nothing but pure Teo Chew dialect and I did not master this local dialect. We communicate in mandarin, not knowing how we understand each other. But as always, message always got through! Life goes on after he left for about 3 years.

It is most sad to see those young soul that lies beneath the grave of my late grandpa and grandma. One of them barely lived to see his twenties. How the parents handle it is really beyond my knowledge. In Chinese saying, the pain of the 'white head' seeing the death of the 'black heads' is one of the most unbearable one. Life is unpredictable. You wouldn't know when Mr Death come knocking on your door. Before you knew it, it is already too late. Appreciate what you have now, and look at the people around you. Repay them whenever you got a chance. Never wait.