Time Waits For No One

Year 2009 just zoomed by. I was taken by surprise. Without a sign, Spring turns summer, then autumn and now its winter. December in just a flicker of candlelight. Looking back to my resolution made in 2008, I was shocked that I achieve few, if not none.

For one, I did reunite with old friends. We had good time going up Mount Kinabalu. We had nice foods. We chat till dawn. The old company is still close together. I really appreciate these old dogs. They coloured my life.

Regrettable, my weighty issue still not settled. Maybe I did nothing about it. Guess this is gonna be my 2010 resolution.

While I didn’t joined or affiliate with any organization, this is due to the fact that I was not ready, I can’t meet up with people’s expectation while not having adequate skills and knowledge. I always love to help people.

Another wish that was fulfilled, that is I got my first dSLR. Its a Nikon D40. It might not be the very best one, but it served the purpose well. I am still learning on how to use it, though. Right now, it churns out pretty good pictures. I just love it.

My hope for year 2010:

1. Enjoy my work and doing what I know best. I am going to finish housemanship soon. Hopefully I can get to do what I want then.
2. Health, not only me, but my father, mother, and everyone.
3. Love. I wish that I can bring the relationship to another level
4. Travel. The next destination is China/Taiwan. And if possible the States.
5. Weight loss

Tragedy

“You made me.

Yet you left me.

This is where I am. In this cold room. All the time. Why? Because you made me.”

This is what a child felt. Two years old. And five months in the ward. Not a single soul came to claim him. Nobody visited him. No family members fed him. Day in and day out, he was kept in the ward. Waiting for placement in special welfare home.

According to the officer, paperwork takes 3 months to half a year. Placement is subject to availability. So we wait…

It started when the child was brought to us by a referral from district hospital. A child from aborigines in Pahang came down with odd symptoms. He kept on have repeating bouts of cough post feeding, fever and was unwell. On top of that, the child lacks facial expression. At two years old, he is still unable to vocalize, nor responds to his parents. There is a problem with his swallowing mechanism. The secretions pools everytime. He can’t swallow. He can’t cough. The is paralysis to his facial muscles due to defect in the cranial nerves. He gets bouts of aspiration leading to pneumonia. Feeding tube were made.

The parents is of the lower socio-economy group. Apart from this child, they need to take care of more kids. They need to work. They need to feed a family of 10. Staying in hospital is out of question. Taking care of a special need child is totally impossible. Bringing the child for follow up is a no-no. There is only one road. Disowning him.

Fate is a strange thing. Some are lucky, some don’t. I guess this is survival of the fittest.

In One Breath

Hundreds of steps under my feet, but I have to just go on. I can’t stop and will not stop, until I reached my destination. There may be missing steps, and potholes along the way. Sometimes, the railings were missing, but it can’t stop me. I am determined this time, and I will reach to the top!

There Is Always Hope

When you come to a crossroad, no signs leading to your destination, and you are lost. The road you took seems new and unfamiliar. Don’t despair. There is always hope. Just hold on. Eventually you will reach your destination.

At the dead of the night, you can’t see where you go, and you lost your way. You can’t figure out the path. Don’t be afraid. The daylight is just around the corner. At the break of the dawn, everything will be crystal clear.

This journey is full of challenges, and the reward is waiting for those who is persistent and determined. Just hope, and always hope for the best.

Wish you success, my dearest.

July: The Haunting

In Chinese culture, July (in Lunar Calendar) marks an important date. It is the date people speaks in hushed tone. It is the period of the month where we avoids going to travel and out-station. It is the month where undertakers' business is blooming. It is also known as the 'Hungry Ghost' month.

In my personal experience, I had seen more mortality case than usual. My days during on call usually blessed with less case and I am yet to see many mortalities during this rotation.

The first case happened during the first day of July. The sky was drizzling lazily. Yet what we were dealing in the resuscitation room is all but cold. There were a deadly accidents involving 2 cars and few motorcycles. Two victims is already dead. Another two were intubated when I was called upon from my fever zone. There was this guy, young guy in early 20's. He had gas trapped between the layers of his lung. My service was needed to insert a chest tube. After the procedur, patient started going down hill. Blood pressure dropped followed with respiratory arrest. Shortly, cardiac arrest ensues. Resuscitation was done. About an hour later, we had no choice but to pronouce his death. As for one of the intubated patient, she did not make it after the emergency operation to evacuate the blood clot in the cranium. So a total mortality of 4 cases.

A week had passed. During my shift in the resus room, There were one ambulance call, despatched to pick up a patient who involved in accident. 'Ting, Ting Ting'. The bell rang three times, The the patient was pushed in in troly, face covered with blood, and the medical asistant was bagging the patient. We sprang to life. Seeing this patient, she was not spontaneously breathing. Pulse was also absent from palpation and the cardiac monitor. Everyone was playing their role. I started the CPR. She was intubated and given fluids and blood, but she didn't make it. Another soul was taken.

Then, three days ago, another patient fallen for heart attack before my shift started.

Just be careful, people. Its is July now.

Unmasked!

It is funny to watch people in panic nowadays. In the height of H1N1, you can see the reaction of human beings. There are few things that caught my attention, though.

First, does the people know what’s the purpose of wearing a mask? It is to prevent the spread of disease to other people, not really prevent from contracting the disease. Unless you are speaking of N95 or N100 respirator. One day, I saw a couple waiting beside me for the traffic light, Both of them wore mask even when they were in car! You gotta look at their face, they were so proud wearing mask in the car! How on earth… Maybe that makes them a Mask Rider.

Then came along people that wear mask, just enough to cover the mouth only. The nostrils were staring at me. When they start talking, they just pull their mask even lower, to show me their mouth. I would say: “Hey there! Wait a second. Put back your mask!” They indeed wore mask, but only to cover the neck only. These are the ‘Neck Masker’.

Maybe it is a market hype, or latest fashion trends. Some patient wear a weird mask, or shall I say, a fancy mask? I have seen one that was black in colour, come with side gills and a pretty red linings. It might look trendy, and fashionable in a way, but I can’t say it confers protections against the miniscule virus particles. The side gill is indeed holes that is perforated, that permeates the passage of air in and out, way too large for a filter actions.

Mask is indeed an important object in term of self protection. Wear it correctly, it become a protection. Wear it wrongly, it might become a nuisance. Your choice.

G.I. Hoe: Rise of the VIPER

Lately, there are too much of workplace politics, to my likings. I am not a political person per se, but things do come to your face when you least expect it.

First, My MO forms two battalions, one called themselves as the ‘Shift Workers Union Team’. The SWUT army consist of those who work in shifts, not confined to the usual 8 to 5 and those who need to do night shifts. Its members is about 10 persons. The other side is also known as the ‘Office Hour Liaison’ (OHL). OHL has smaller number of people. In fact they have only 3 members to speak of. However, don’t judge the OHL by sheer number, as all the member are high ranking officers. The battle line between the SWUT and OHL is clearly drawn. OHL accused the SWUT for working less hours and not allowing them to take their day off. SWUT blame the OHL for not doing any oncall at all despite the number of MO is minimal. If you think the SWUT and OHL is like cats and dogs from the start, you are wrong.

Going back to history, They were not like this. They were loving each other, complementing others work. They OHL wouldn’t mind helping out night duty. The SWUT wouldn’t mind the extra calls and all those weekend shifts. It was due to a OHL chief that is able to find harmony between the 2 teams. The peace was not forever. With time, the chief promoted to other post and came the new leader of OHL. Within the week of taking the throne, she had made new rules and changes that favours OHL. She blame SWUT for not working enough. She pushed the SWUTs to work extra. Many SWUTs that can’t take the new ruling resigned. There are also some SWUTs that stay on and put up a good fight with this OHL.

Out of nowhere, came a swarm of General Infantry (G.I.), sent by the Higher OrdEr (G.I. Hoe). These are G.I. Hoe. When all else fails, they don’t. They can work 24/7. When the Order call, they can work without food or rest. They know no fear. They have the tolerance of getting 60 rounds of automatic machineguns per second to their head without breakdown (I mean the scolding).

So the new chief of OHL saw an opportunity, and she snapped it! The swarming of G.I Hoe is seen as the solution for the uprising battle between the SWUT and OHL. Then she fully utilized the G.I.’s and put them is many calls and rotations that they don’t belong to, for example in the fever screening zone. Everyday, she do rounds in resus and green zone and shunt away all G.I. to this fever screening zone despite no patient in the fever zone! With these, she can shut some of the SWUT’s mouth and the OHL especially her do not need to be on call at night at all. What a brilliant solution! Pity the G.I. Hoe, working day and night in the fever zone. They are supposed to learn something in the resus and green, but all they get is only seeing the fever cases…

One day, the VIPER (Very Important Person in Emergency Room) will rise, and the chief shall fall. I am longing for the day to come…