Etiquette of Attending Chinese Wedding

I met a colleague of mine, who happens to be a Malay in a function lately. It was a Chinese wedding dinner in one of a nice hotel ballroom. We had a little chat and it turned out that it was the first time he attends a Chinese wedding dinner. So I shared with him the following:

1. Be serious about RSVP. Think about whether you really can attend the function. Once a invitation card is out, the host automatically assumes that you are coming and expect a little red packet. By any chance that you can't make it to the dinner, you still have to send in a representative or substitute with ang pow. In the recent wedding that I attended, there were many seats vacant. It is a disrespect both to the host and the function.

2. Be absolute about number of people attending. Chinese wedding dinner are usually 8-course meal with prefixed number of seats. If you are expected to be there alone, you better be there alone; any extras will be relocated to the next vacant seats. So you may be seated seperately with your partner, which is not a very nice thing to be. Usually there will be reserved tables as well but if it is not more than half full, the host may not open up the table.

3. The gift. Unless your present is a wearable bling-bling object with some weight, I suggest that giving ang pow is a better option. Firstly, the couple may have trouble bringing around your presents after the wedding and secondly, the things given may serve no use. At least, ang pow helps the couple to some extend to cover the expenses during the wedding process. Chinese wedding has become a very expensive affair of late.

4. The ang pow. It is not a donation, certainly not a token. There is absolute math in deciding the amount of the ang pow. Given too small a sum, you will be remembered as the stingy one; given too much, unless you are filthy rich. So how much to give? The best answer is to Google the average cost for a dinner in that particular restaurant or hotel. If not, give a call personally to the hotel to inquire about the price of a wedding dinner set.

5. Be reasonable drinker. Free flow of liquor is served sometimes during a Chinese wedding dinner. Just because it's free, you don't have to drink yourself till drunk and make you a total embarrassment. I had seen too many mediocre people that disrupts the flow of the wedding because of the ethanol toxicity. Some host actually refrains from serving alcohols because of this reason.

Having said all this, a Chinese wedding is a merry and loud place to be, especially the toast. I am sure you would have lots of fun.

Cheers.

Happiness, Found!

You are my sun

Nothing can hide my elated mood. Nothing can put away the smile on my face. Absolutely nothing can make me feel less of you, every single day.

Before this, I always have hesitations. Second thoughts. What-ifs. Buts. Negative in everything I do. Skeptical about our future. Now things have changed. After I have your hand that day, things are different now.

I am more positive. Felt everything is possible. Give my very best in everything. Felt like protecting you every moment. Love just about everything about you; your freckle on the right cheek, the naevus on the right nose. The way you hum your little tunes when you talk. Everything felt so right. Even our hand felt so apt together.

This is the power of love. And it strengthen the bond between us. So strong...

Last Moments of A Bachelor's Life

I guess a man always want to feel belonged. After having a stable career, he wants a family, a wife to journey the life, couple of children to share the joy, a house to live in and a group of good friends. He can't wait to start the family and get married. But I guess, human are always confused. He will have mixed feelings. On the verge of marriage, he will think of all the responsibility that is going to fall on his shoulders. Is this the right decision? I mean, what can a person lose when getting married? My married friend told me, you loose a lot. Gone were the days of partying till the wee hours in the morning, hanging out with friends, traveling alone to odd places,  talking simply about everything: who is the new 'chic' pharmacist, who is going to win the election or what is the best condom brand. Welcome to the real world. Now who is going to wake up to attend to the baby cry? Who is going to change his diaper, feed him milk? All the talks centered around the best formula milk, the most ergonomic stroller, and the nursery that abuse their kids.

It sounds like nightmare, isn't it? I feel scared sometimes.

My friend also told me, you will gain a lot. You'll have a life partner, to share the joy when you are up in the sky, and to comfort you when you're down on your knees. Behind every success man, there is always an even more capable woman to support him, to buffer him and most of all, to love him. There will never be a dull moment in your life. When the right time comes, and you are blessed with your first born, that joy is indescribable. It felt like your life is complete. If gives you a reason to come home after work, to quickly put aside your work and start your life. It puts a smile on your face that worth a million dollar. Though there are hard times, sleepless nights, seeing him grow up is the best thing you can hope for.

Now, I am not scared anymore.

Saving Every Cents in a Pre-Wedding Photography

Just had my pre wedding photoshoot done earlier. It was a huge relief. No doubt, a very exciting experience for both of us. Thanks to the professionalism of our photographer, the photoshoot was a breeze. However, the bridal shop will find ways to incur more charges to us, in a way or another. My fiance and I managed to keep it within the budget.

We had many great shots, booth indoor and outdoor. When the photographer ask us to select the shots to be included in the photo album, to choose 50 out of 300, it was a difficult task. Moreover, the friendly staff will try to interfere with the selection process by giving unnecessary opinions. The ultimate aim is to include more photos and the extra pages can really mount up to the exorbitant amount. some times 50% more than the original amount.

Budget are tight when we plan for marriage and money are well spend into other aspects. So how to avoid falling into the trap?

1. Choose the package wisely. I have friends that is getting married and they took up the packages that mount up the the sky high charges. Sometimes, the more expensive things doesn't mean it is better. Same wise, Cheap will mean nothing if it is not up to standards. Try to shop around, asking their prices. Ask opinions from others about the shop. Read online forums and blogs about the bridal shops. Do some background research then only sign up.
2. Bring your own. Things that are consumable like the make up requirement are usually chargeable. Alternatively, you can bring your own and ask the make up artist to use yours. Things like the ampoule for make up sells 10x more expensive than outside (RM 35 compare to RM 3). So bring your own to save more but always consult the make up artist regarding what they need for the day.
3. Always ask for hidden charges. There are some cunning bridal shop that incurs extra charges for items like gown or suits. Always ask them up front. There are shops that charges extra RM 100 per dress for their so called 'designer piece'. Sometimes they will charge extra for going outdoor. Bringing makeup artist along also cost more. So, be wise! Plan your shooting and think how you want it to be to avoid these charges.
4. Say no to extra. When me and my fiance were choosing the photos, the photographer kept on pestering us that this shots is nice and that pose is perfect and so called un'delete'able. Then they start to arrange for more photo books and more shots than what we had agreed upon. The extra shots cost a staggering RM 1500 more. When we almost succumb to the trap, luckily my fiance were alert enough to stay on track. We manage to exclude all the shots that are not what we had wanted, even though it was a good one. We rate the photos from 1 to 10. Most of the below par were excluded in the first round and finally we have the most precious 50 shots that is nothing but the best shots. You need to see what you want and what is needed. That simple.

Above all, enjoy every moment of your pre wedding photo shooting, as we did ours.