2016, A Year in Review

Time flies, really...

This year was an important year for myself.

Finally I had graduated after 4 years of endurance. Further studies when you are having other commitments is really tough. I need to juggle between work and family, to ensure a balance between both. If I had not took the leap of faith 4 years ago, I am still a rotting flesh sitting in a small place, waiting for time to past. If I never leave my comfort zone, I would have not known my potentials and my strength. If I choose to stay the way things are, I may have not known many great friends from around Malaysia and the World.

The arrival of the bundle of joy really makes a difference in my life. He has been my source of inspiration, my happiness and my motivation to go on. He makes me want to go home on time every day. He is a walking 'destresser', giving us joy and laughter.

I wish that year 2017 will be another great year, just like before.

Etiquette of Attending Chinese Wedding

I met a colleague of mine, who happens to be a Malay in a function lately. It was a Chinese wedding dinner in one of a nice hotel ballroom. We had a little chat and it turned out that it was the first time he attends a Chinese wedding dinner. So I shared with him the following:

1. Be serious about RSVP. Think about whether you really can attend the function. Once a invitation card is out, the host automatically assumes that you are coming and expect a little red packet. By any chance that you can't make it to the dinner, you still have to send in a representative or substitute with ang pow. In the recent wedding that I attended, there were many seats vacant. It is a disrespect both to the host and the function.

2. Be absolute about number of people attending. Chinese wedding dinner are usually 8-course meal with prefixed number of seats. If you are expected to be there alone, you better be there alone; any extras will be relocated to the next vacant seats. So you may be seated seperately with your partner, which is not a very nice thing to be. Usually there will be reserved tables as well but if it is not more than half full, the host may not open up the table.

3. The gift. Unless your present is a wearable bling-bling object with some weight, I suggest that giving ang pow is a better option. Firstly, the couple may have trouble bringing around your presents after the wedding and secondly, the things given may serve no use. At least, ang pow helps the couple to some extend to cover the expenses during the wedding process. Chinese wedding has become a very expensive affair of late.

4. The ang pow. It is not a donation, certainly not a token. There is absolute math in deciding the amount of the ang pow. Given too small a sum, you will be remembered as the stingy one; given too much, unless you are filthy rich. So how much to give? The best answer is to Google the average cost for a dinner in that particular restaurant or hotel. If not, give a call personally to the hotel to inquire about the price of a wedding dinner set.

5. Be reasonable drinker. Free flow of liquor is served sometimes during a Chinese wedding dinner. Just because it's free, you don't have to drink yourself till drunk and make you a total embarrassment. I had seen too many mediocre people that disrupts the flow of the wedding because of the ethanol toxicity. Some host actually refrains from serving alcohols because of this reason.

Having said all this, a Chinese wedding is a merry and loud place to be, especially the toast. I am sure you would have lots of fun.

Cheers.

Last Moments of A Bachelor's Life

I guess a man always want to feel belonged. After having a stable career, he wants a family, a wife to journey the life, couple of children to share the joy, a house to live in and a group of good friends. He can't wait to start the family and get married. But I guess, human are always confused. He will have mixed feelings. On the verge of marriage, he will think of all the responsibility that is going to fall on his shoulders. Is this the right decision? I mean, what can a person lose when getting married? My married friend told me, you loose a lot. Gone were the days of partying till the wee hours in the morning, hanging out with friends, traveling alone to odd places,  talking simply about everything: who is the new 'chic' pharmacist, who is going to win the election or what is the best condom brand. Welcome to the real world. Now who is going to wake up to attend to the baby cry? Who is going to change his diaper, feed him milk? All the talks centered around the best formula milk, the most ergonomic stroller, and the nursery that abuse their kids.

It sounds like nightmare, isn't it? I feel scared sometimes.

My friend also told me, you will gain a lot. You'll have a life partner, to share the joy when you are up in the sky, and to comfort you when you're down on your knees. Behind every success man, there is always an even more capable woman to support him, to buffer him and most of all, to love him. There will never be a dull moment in your life. When the right time comes, and you are blessed with your first born, that joy is indescribable. It felt like your life is complete. If gives you a reason to come home after work, to quickly put aside your work and start your life. It puts a smile on your face that worth a million dollar. Though there are hard times, sleepless nights, seeing him grow up is the best thing you can hope for.

Now, I am not scared anymore.

The Painted Window

I was on a walking tour in Ho Chi Minh City. There was this very tall pair of stipples standing in the park of the town. Out of curiousity, I entered the church. I discovered this pair of painted glass on the side wall.

It tells a story. I do not know what the story is about, but I believe during war times, people seek refugee in this church. When the world is full of chaos out there, this place will bring them some peace and shelters. Many had carved words onto the walls, saying their prayers.

We live in a world of chaos, where brothers and sisters fights; the society fights; the government fights; and the nation fights! On the other hand, some had inner war, where there are conflicts of thoughts. All these will bring to unhappiness to us.

Hope you finds your inner peace tonight.

If I Am Not A Doctor

If I Am Not A Doctor

If I am not a doctor,
My life would be free,
As I neither care for a stranger's life,
Nor about his itchy hives,

I wouldn't get needle prick,
Nor get prolonged cough and TB,
Nor jaundiced because of Hepatitis B,
Spending months in recovery.

If I am not a doctor,
I would be home by five,
Have dinner with my wife,
Spend time with my child

Missed the moments they grow up,
Missed their graduations,
While I am busy in OT,
 Saving someone ailing heart.

If I am not a doctor,
I wouldn't have this heartache,
Of leaving everything behind,
And everything I loved.

Moving to another new places,
Meet strange people and new faces,
Only to find the city craze,
Nothing compares to my home,
My favorite place.

Be Thankful!

Be thankful...

That you are still breathing, as some people never wake up from their sleep.

That both of your parents are still in good health, as time is short.

That your partner still loving you, as love is not an eternal thing.

That your friend still cares for you, as friendship can fade with time.

That you still have a job, even your boss is mad.

That you have a roof over your head, even though it is a simple house.

That you have a means of transport, as some people has to walk miles instead.

That you have food on the plate, as many children died of famish everyday.

Birthday Blues

Dear Mom,

It is your birthday today. I did not bring you any present. I am sorry. I just want to wish you happy birthday. Deep down in my heart, I wish you enjoy every moments you lived now. Your life journeys marked heavily on your face. Each line is a passing of a past that turns into nothing but memory. Each dots speaks for itself for a legend that you make.

There are few things that I regretted in this life. I am sorry for not spending more time with you. Its all the work, stress, love, and sidelines that keep us apart. I know you are lonely. The vast amount of time that you spent on the couch crunching away the stupid Taiwan Hokkien TV series is to filled the emptiness of this house, more of the emptiness of your heart. The nonsense that you joined, to give back life to the ex drug addicts, says it all. I know. I can see it in your eyes.

I am sorry that I behave like a jerk. I raised my voice to you. I turn a deaf ear to you. I shut myself from you. I lied to you. I am trying to shake loose this connection. All because one day, I am ready to fly. I will be going away, sooner or later. You stories ends here, but my life starts from here. There is endless possibilities out there. I will be back, as the new me.

Don’t cry, mama. Your agenda is not my agenda; your life is not my life; to you is good but to me, maybe it’s bad. Alas! we are two different people. I read from a book once: you know your child only as much as when both of you are connected via the umbilical cord. After the cord is cut, the child is a person by himself. You don’t know what he thinks, why he behave like this. You have to admit, the child is a totally new person, and you will not understand him/her fully. 

I don’t want to break your heart, mama. Sorry for all the things that I did, things that I ought to do but I didn’t. Sorry for the big gap in between us. Sorry for the words that I said but didn’t mean it, and the words that I should have said but didn’t. I still love you the same. Till then.

 

With love,

Son

收拾心情

最近发生太多不如意的事了。

刚认识的女友，却得了病需要动手术。需要开刀的时候， 身为男友的我， 却不在她身旁，真是遗憾。 但是手术很成功，她安然无恙。心中的大石也就可以放下了。

有人说，一段感情，若没有经过风吹雨打，就经不起时间的考验，我不信！为什么不可以让一切平淡，只有快乐，没有烦恼？难道没有挫折，就不会成长？没有跌倒，就学不会爬起来吗？

工作上也到了一段瓶颈，每天重复做一样的工，面对同样让人气愤的上司下属，每天都要面对工作上的政治。唯有等待下班时跟女友约会，家人用餐，让自己松弛心情。要等待加薪，还有好远；要等待换岗，都要多两个月。

自己开始遗忘最初的理想和梦想了。这些都是属于学生年代的东西，现在面对的是事实。嗨... 难得充实的利用六天的假期，现在还是收拾心情，明天又开工啰！

This Old Man, He Play One, He Play Nick Nack...

I came to know an old man. A lonely old man.

He loves to wait by the telephone for her daughter to call, but they seldom do.

He loves to watch movies on big screens, yet no one has time to accompany him.

He loves to cook nice dishes, sometimes the taste can go awfully wrong, and no one there to eat the food.

He loves to travel, yet no one would look after the house for him.

He loves to talk, yet walls is the only listener for most days.

He loves to try his luck on the scratch ticket, yet no one share the joy of winning with him.

He loves to sleep during noon time, because time is easier to go by to fill up the absence.

He loves to learn English, asking his grandson grammars and pronunciation, because that is the communication link between both of them.

He loves his family, and do not know how much love the family gave returned to him.

He is

My grandpa

Under the Moonlight

Outside my 4 pane window, there is a full moon on top of the coconut tree. The willow is moving ever so slowly with the night breeze. Not a single dog is barking. The night is peaceful and sweet. I had not enjoyed the serenity of the night for the last five years since I further my study in Kuala Lumpur. Last time, I never appreciate the night like what I do now. Peace had been a luxury when you live in KL. Traffic jams, people rushing, talking right in front of your face spraying their saliva, trying to get a piece of you, make fool of you and overtake you; I have had enough with all these craps. Maybe when you lost something, then you will appreciate the thing that you gain. I love peaceful nights.

I enjoy rainy nights more. The sound of the rain drops falling on the leaves, hitting on the window pane are simply the best orchestra of Mother Nature. Before the new house is build, I used to live in a wooden bungalow. There were 4 rooms. Mine was near the road with 2 side windows. There were no air conditioning, only a small wall fan. Whenever it rain, I will fall asleep very fast. It is during the rainy nights that I thought of my late grandma more often. Sometimes I thought I saw her reflections in my room. Sometimes, I can hear her voices talking to me. I couldn't recall much of the past memory of her. But I knew she made a good pants that lasted me 6 years throughout my secondary school time. There are things that I didn't have time to tell her. She left in a hurry. Mr Death had eyed on her.

It is the time for Cheng Beng again. I had not fulfill my responsibility as a grandson quite a while due to time factor. Wish I could make it this year around.